11 months ago
· 1,997 notes
a breakdown of hummer owners, by demetri martin
tough guys come in at 43% of the owners. pricks are 27%, douche bags are 15%. now, dildoes are almost 15%, which is interesting because i’ve never had to pluralize dildo before. i don’t know if that’s right. it looks like dil-does. and i hope i never have to again, like in a deposition or something. how many dildos were there? i don’t know, but i’m sore and i want to go home.