Tom Servo: In 1984, the techno mega-giant band named Yes released a song in which they assured us that the OWNER OF A LONELY HEART IS MUCH BETTER THAN THE OWNER OF A BROKEN HEAAARRRT! 

Mike: Yeah, great song. I remember that.

Tom Servo: As do we all, Mike. As do we all. But my point is simply this: they introduced a profound topic and barely scratched the surface! They told me nothing! How does the OWNER OF A LONELY HEART compare to, say, the OWNER OF A BROKEN GAS FIREPLACE! Or, for that matter, to the OWNER OF A PERFECTLY FUNCTIONAL CHEESE SLICER! As the OWNER OF A LONELY HEART, how do I stack up against the OWNER OF A PENCIIIIL! I mean, come on, Yes! 

Mike: I don’t think it’s up to Yes to come up with every possible permutation of-

Tom Servo: Well, they brought it up Mike, and there’s so much more to consider! What about the OWNER OF A PARCEL OF LAND IN MONTANA versus the OWNER OF A PIIIEEEE? 

Mike: We’ll be right back.

Tom Servo: How does the OWNER OF A JAAAAR stack up against the OWNER OF A SPLIT-LEVEL?

(After commercial break)

Crow: Now we’ve done it! Every time we say “owner of a lonely heart”, we get a Yes orchestra hit!

Mike: Alright, hang on…. Test! Test? Owner of a lonely heart?!

(Orchestra Hit)

Tom Servo: For now let’s just avoid owner of a….

Crow: You know, lonely heart.

(Orchestra Hit)